BabyMaking is Hard

I thought making Sophia was a roller coaster.

Add in making a new baby while chasing after a very energetic toddler...oh and not to mention becoming the non-gestational parent. This is crazy. I am tracking or symptom stalking this go-round, but I definitely pay attention to the little things. Honestly having Sophia makes the TWW seem to fly by - at least for me. We just ended try #5 with a BFN. All tries have been at home with fresh swimmers, you'd think optimum conditions...other than the drive time home.

We are moving forward with an appointment with a fertility specialist next Monday the 8th.

At this point we are not sure what the hold up is. Our donor (while different than Sophia's) has reported success earlier this year. Our timing seems to be pretty spot on, and her temps/OPKs indicate she is ovulating like normal. Her cycles seem pretty consistent. We just can't catch the egg for some reason. My guess is she just has a tilted cervix and we just need a bit of help to get the swimmers to the right place. If anything, they will run a simple saline test to rule out any blockages and that may just clear everything up enough to let a baby implant!

This has to be so hard on Courtney, especially when her body is basically tricking her into thinking something is going on in there. She got a nasty cold this time (that was my tell-tell sign when I got preggo!) I am hoping we get some quick, easy, inexpensive answers. We are ready for baby #2!

I am glad we started trying when we did...some of our pals keep talking about having kids, but they are a little naive to the fact that it CAN take a long time to get a baby bean in one of their bellies.

Part of me wonders if it hasn't worked because we haven't been sharing with our blogland friends this time around. WE NEED THE BABY DUST!!!

Until Next Time.

Jamberry

Hi everyone in blogland :) I have recently decided to join the Jamberry Team!! "What is a Jamberry?..." you may be asking yourself. I will tell you :)

They are high quality, vinyl, heat and pressure activated nail wraps that last 7-14 days, at a fraction of the cost of a mani or pedi at the salon. They are non-toxic (and scent free!), won't chip like polish and do not damage your natural nail. There are over 350 styles to suit everyone's nail design preferences.

OH & one sheet of wraps will give you AT LEAST 2 manis and 2 pedis!!! I mean, if you do the math it comes out to less than $5 for a mani/pedi!! That is amazing :)

I really do love these wraps, mainly because I don't have to wait for them to dry...having a very mobile 10 month old #nobodygottimeforthat. & They really do last forever. My toes are going on 8 weeks (they still look brand new), I am going to change them just to change them soon. Also, you get paid for your commission every Friday, and on top of that you get bonuses every month! Gotta love that.

Jamberry just released a brand new Fall & Winter catalog, with TONS of new fun styles. They even have lots of junior wraps for the little ones in our lives, some made just to match momma too!

If you might be interested check out more HERE << that is my fancy schmancy website.

Jamberry also has AMAZING Hostess Rewards. I'd love to help you get lots of free stuff for hosting a party. We can even host it ALL online via Facebook if you want...super easy & SO fun. Really.

You can request a party here << my fancy schmancy party requesting tool.

Sooo, just had to put this shameless plug out there in the interwebs.

Oh, you wanted to know about Sophia?! haha She is walking. That's right...she started really getting the hang of it at the beginning of 9 months by 9.5 she was taking multiple consistent independent steps. I am amazed by this little girl. She is so stinkin smart. She is also tiny 17lbs at her 9mo appt.

Courtney and I have both started back to school this Fall. I am going full time to finish up my BS, and she is taking a few classes to finish up her degree. Things are busy around these parts...why not add some extra income with some fun nail wraps while we are at it?? We are saving the extra money to help pay for Sophia's adoption fees...I think it is a great plan!!

So check out my website, fall in love like I did & let me know how I can help you meet your own life goals!!

Freedom To Marry

We are getting closer and closer to gaining the Freedom to Marry.

As Courtney kind of mentioned in the previous post, we were recently featured on Freedom To Marry's site. I think the story turned out beautifully with our pictures.

I am so grateful that the times have changed so much that there are more positve comments than negative, and we do not personally know any of the people making the negative comments. I love that SO MANY people have had the opportunity to read our story and even share it. More people should see that we are just regular people living regular lives. We would just like the same right to be married as everyone else.

I think August 6th is going to be a fantastic day. The 6th Circuit Court will hear the vital TN cases and most likely rule in our favor. (At least that's what I'm thinking)

If you would like to take a look at our story over at Freedom To Marry please do :)

Our Story

You can also spread the word if you'd like, maybe if enough people see it, the lawmakers will have a change of heart with the super cute baby face staring at them!!

Maxed Out On Irony

I seriously cannot even comprehend what just happened. Jamie and I were featured on a story on Freedom to Marry. This story was shared by them on Facebook and, as a result, the masses were allowed to comment on it. Most of these comments have been nice and supportive and from complete strangers. I have also seen a few sweet comments from dear friends of ours. I have yet to see anything unkind from anyone I'm friends with, BUT I did see something from someone I know today. As I was scrolling through the comments, someone said something to the extent of.. I feel sorry for Sophia because she will never have a family with a mother and a father. I saw that there was a reply so I clicked on it to see what the person said. Someone nicely jumped to our defense, of course and I was grateful, but I couldn't help but notice that it said So And So likes this comment on the comment about Sophia not having a father. This So And So was somebody I went to school with. Somebody who claims to be an uber conservative. Ok, fine with me. Those are your opinions, but don't go "liking" comments like that on a story about someone who you know and have had a rivalry with when that person and others know that you have had your moments when you thought being gay was the cool thing to do. Also DO NOT EVER comment on something about my child's life when you have aborted a child before. Seriously how dare you?! My mind is exploding with the absolute irony and hypocrisy of this and I could say a million devastatingly hurtful things to this person right now. Really.. I just can't even comprehend this person's thought process.

The Milky Way

No, not the galaxy. The movie.

The Milky Way Foundation is on a mission to bring more awareness to the importance of breastfeeding and the way parents and babies are introduced to each other during the first few hours of entering this world.

If you have the opportunity to see this movie in you city, take it!! Courtney and I saw it last night right here in Knoxville (I love how progressive this scruffy little city is). I thoroughly enjoyed learning more about the excellent bond breastfeeding creates. I was also AMAZED at how far the US is behind other countries. Sadly we are one of 4 (FOUR) countries in the ENTIRE world that has ZERO mandated maternity program...other than FMLA. Did you know Sweden offers 18 months of PAID maternity leave (and paternity leave!!)? Did you know the US blatantly goes against the World Health Organization Code on formula marketing? A code written in the early 80s...that says formula companies CANNOT market to new mothers prenataly or within the first 6 months of a baby's life. (yeah...that means all those "free" samples in the mail we received while I was preggo and the ones I was sent home with from the hospital). ALL part of their skeezy scheme.

Oh there is just so much to say about this movie. I loved it and I want you to see it too! I want to see it again...I know I missed little things while tending to Sophia.

I strongly encourage you to find a city near you...or even get an organization in your city to sponsor bringing it to you.

Knowledge is power. When you KNOW better, you DO better.

She's a Petite Little Thing

Sophia had her 6 month well visit yesterday. She is 14lbs 13oz, 24.5in tall and her head is 16.5in....all to say she is a short and trim little girl with a slightly big noggin :)

They had us fill out a development questionairre thing...and she is developing at an 8 month old rate! We knew she was super baby...but now we have proof haha.

The doctor said, I would go ahead and start baby proofing soon. We agreed. We have a WILD child on our hands. She is so curious about everything, and cannot sit still. The only time she snuggles anymore is when she is asleep...even her nursing time has become a party for her.

We are going to have our hands full, even if she is just a tiny thing! She had a cold last week, but with breastfeeding we knocked it out with no lasting evidence. HOORAY for boobie juice! All in All our girl is strong and healthy and perfect...and CUTE.

So onto the part you've all been waiting for....go VOTE!! She moved up 45 spots yesterday, let's keep it up and get her into the top 30 tomorrow!! Please SHARE it with your friends! Thank you, thank you for voting yesterday...voting continues EVERY SINGLE DAY until Sunday, May 11th (Mother's Day)

VOTE FOR SOPHIA!!

I am that crazy mom who thinks her daughter is the cutest ever and deserves to win this Cover Contest for Parents Magazine!!!

SOOOOO we need your help! She dropped from #94 to #122.....that is the wrong way!

Help her get back to the top by voting HERE, and if you feel so inclined PLEASE Share it with your pals too :)

I didn't realize just how many pictures there are in this contest...looks like over 1000, so she is doing really well so far...but I know with me pushing everyone to keep voting she will probably go ahead and win! SO GO VOTE! & then SHARE!!

No Way You Are 6 Months Old

I just cannot believe Sophia is actually two days aways from being a half year old. 6 months. No Way! She continues to amaze us with how incredibly smart she is. Sitting like a pro, rolling all over the place, talking ALL the time now :), she can pull herself up (AHH!!), she can scoot around...crawling is near...that is if she doesn't skip crawling and go straight to running.

She is the joy of our lives. She has the best personality ever. When we are feeling down, that smile brings us right back up. I love seeing this brand new world with her. Every single day is something amazing.

Breastfeeding is still wonderful. We are going to start some purees soonish, and maybe start giving her some finger foods to play with. We may even try to start training her on a sippy cup.

She has her 6 month well visit on Wednesday, I say she will weigh about 14 lbs and she will be about 24 in.

We will be getting some photos taken from our wonderful pal Alex soon. That is our Mother's Day gift to one another :) I love how Alex can capture our personalities so well...and adding Sophia to the mix is going to be so so fun.

While I'm gushing about our girl...let me go ahead and plea for your vote! She is entered in the Parents Magazine 2014 Cover Contest!! Go HERE to vote for her picture...if you feel so inclined, you can share the link too :) She will be so glad you did! You can vote EVERY day this week.

Until next time (which will probably be tomorrow, when I plea for votes again)!

Time for two?

We may be crazy, or we may just really know what we want. Or both.

Picture a perfect world. In it, we would get pregnant with our second child this August...that's right, in a short 5 months. Sophia would be around 9 months old. The new baby would be born around May, Sophia would be 18 months old. The new baby would be a boy. Also in that perfect world, our second baby would be carried by Courtney. The donor would be the same as Sophia's donor. Oh yeah, that perfect world also includes Courtney having insurance and some time saved up to take off with the new tiny.

Our world isn't perfect...I want to say we would still be able to start trying in August. Even if that means using a different donor (since Courtney is sure our KD wouldn't be up for a second donation at the moment). Even if that means Courtney would have to take unpaid Maternity leave because right now her position doesn't offer insurance or PTO accrual. I think we could make it work with what we have. Come next May, we will have most of our debt tackled and that leaves extra cushions financially. Plus, they always say if you wait until you are totally financially stable you will never have kids...and look at what can happen if you think you are financially stable -Court lost her job just months before Sophia was born. We have been fine, things have been tight, but we have not gone without what we need...and we are still paying our bills on time. I think we would manage for a month or two if she wanted to take that time off...we could plan accordingly and save up too.

It is totally possible. My older brother and I were very close in age, 12.5 months actually. Growing up we were best of friends. I loved it. My younger brothers were the same way, and today they are still great friends. I think being able to give Sophia a sibling close to her age would not only benefit her in the long run, but I honestly think it would be easier to have children similar in developmental stages than to have a few years between them. Granted after Baby #2, we would wait a few years to have the next...I think ultimately we would like 4 children :) Basically I want to relive my childhood through my own children hahaha!

We have this fancy 7 year plan in our heads...it goes something like this:

1. Get our credit cards essentially paid off by this October.
2. Pay my car off within 2 years.
3. Pay Courtney's car off a year after that.
4. Use all of that extra money to pay off the house within 7 years.

Of course, we would like to purchase some new appliances for our kitchen, we need to replace the rest of the 60 year old windows in the house, we need to replace the old plumbing under the house and we need to have the crawlspace insulated. So those are big ticket items/projects that will most likely postpone our "7 Year Plan." Again, it is possible...that plan isn't taking into consideration tax return monies, any extra money we are likely to earn from side jobs or OT. I have a feeling we may outgrow our house before 7 years anyway. Plus, we would like to live in a neighborhood with other children. Right now there aren't any where we are. So even if we are only able to pay off a huge chunk of the mortgage within the next few years, that would just be more money to put towards the next house.

Can you tell we have been thinking A LOT about the future? I am excited to see what is in store for us...but I am also happy to take it one day at a time. Everything happens the way it is supposed to. When it is supposed to. We can just HOPE it is close to our little plans :)

ANNND I'm back :)

Hello all :) This is Jamie. I am back and hopefully I will be able to keep writing on a semi-regular basis.

I don't even know where to start really...

I birthed our daughter. (Sometimes it is still weird to me to say I have a daughter!) Like Courtney wrote, it did not go exactly how we planned...but it happened exactly how it was supposed to. I am definitely going to try to be more patient when it is my turn again. I have a feeling I can do the whole natural birth thing & with a less than 7 hour labor/delivery I will most likely go faster the second time around! I can't wait.

Breastfeeding. She started out a champ and remains a champ today...She knows exactly what to do...my nipples are the ones who needed to learn how to be chomped, chapped and sore before they figured everything out. We are in a very nice groove now, and have been for a couple months. I am so happy at 4 months we seem to have a healthy breastfeeding relationship. Little girl hasn't had an ounce of formula since birth, and we see no end in sight. People ask when I plan to wean...at this point, I am comfortable to continue until she wants to stop all by herself. (My thoughts might change).

Sophia is simply the best. She is so happy all the time...even when she is fussy from teething. That's right I said teething...She is just under 4 months old and I am sure she will be popping teeth through soon. Last night I felt so bad, she actually cried in the night (normally she just stirs and fusses a bit, I will feed her and she goes back to sleep). She really had tears last night...I don't know if she is in real pain or just mad about the discomfort. We can't see teeth yet, but her poor bottom gums are swollen, her cheeks are red and the drool. Oh the drool. She chews on anything she can get her hands on.

She turns 4 months this Friday. Her 4 month appointment is the following Monday, so I will be able to update with her new stats. As far as I know, she is a healthy little chunk-butt. She is petite, but she has a little belly on her :) I am proud of that!

I think that is enough for now. I am in love with my family. Things are looking up...and Spring is surely on the way!!

Coming soon, plans for our future...and future babies :)

Intolerance Wars

Duck Dynasty vs. Same Love

As a lesbian woman in East Tennessee you can imagine my point of view on the anti gay and racist comments made by Phil Robertson. I apparently made the mistake of posting my opinion on the matter on Facebook because the conservatives either got butthurt or rushed to the man's defense.  The issue had been long gone in my mind, though until I watched the Grammys and saw the comments that were made afterwards regarding the mass ceremony performed during Same Love that included some same sex couples. 

So can someone please explain to me why the same sex weddings were worse than the anti gay comments? Because here's what I got out of both of these things..

GQ interview with Phil Robertson:

During a discussion about repentance and God, Robertson is asked what he finds sinful.

"Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there," he says. "Beastiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men."

He goes on to paraphrase Corinthians: "Don't be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers-- they won't inherit the kingdom of God. Don't deceive yourself. It's not right." 

So the guy didn't understand what was more appealing to a gay man about another man's anus.. ok you don't get it. That's fine. Where he crossed the line was when he was asked about what was considered to be sinful. Apparently only things of a sexual nature come to mind when that question is asked. I would think the first things should be worshipping false gods and using the lord's name in vein.. since those are all things that are directly insulting to the god he worships, but no. Apparently any sex other than married, heterosexual, missionary style is repulsive and offensive and on the top of the list as far as sin is concerned. 

 

 

On top of that, he continued the insult by comparing homosexuality/gay sex to beastiality and sleeping with multiple partners.. because all gay people are also sexually attracted to animals, are whores and are just disgusting people all around.

Then there are the ceremonies at the Grammys. During Macklemore's performance of Same Love 34 couples, gay and straight, were wed by Queen Latifah in a mass ceremony. 

 

While supporters of same sex marriage responded, teary eyed, with love and praise, others were not so happy.  Anti gay conservatives referred to the marriages as "disgusting", "despicable" and an "attack on Christianity." 

After seeing both sides of both arguments I can only ask one thing..  Why is it that a Christian man can make disgusting comments about a group of people he doesn't agree with and it is his god given right to do so and anyone who disagrees with him is whiny, intolerant and denying his freedom as an American, but a wedding ceremony that included gay couples, which was not accompanied by any speech at all, is an attack on Christianity? 

Growing Pains

Our little girl will be 2 months old in two days.  Jamie will officially be starting back full time at work on Friday and we are trying to cope with the idea of separation from Sophia.  I can't imagine the feelings Jamie will be dealing with then and I can honestly say that I have no idea what to do to make her feel better about it.  We recently won concert tickets for the 18th of this month and were discussing whether or not we would even want to go and be away from Sophia for an evening.  Since the event is late Jamie suggested that we could go and just let Sophia stay the night with her gramsie so that we didn't wake her up late to bring her home and the idea of spending a night apart from her made me cry like a baby.. in fact it made me sob.  I was embarrassed to be crying so I left the room and started boohooing in the kitchen.. so if I can cry like that over one night away I have no idea how to console Jamie who will now be spending 40 hours a week away from her all while I'm at home with her getting to spend quality time.

I have so many emotions rushing through me that I don't know how to deal with.  The biggest one by far is the overwhelming love I feel for Sophia.  I don't think I knew that I could love her THIS much.  I worry about her every night when we put her to bed, I worry about her future, I pain myself over the thought of her growing up and when I look into her sweet, beautiful eyes I feel a love that I never imagined that I could feel and it just gets stronger every single day.

All while feeling these emotions for Sophia, I'm stressing over our future children.  I get the feeling from our donor that he doesn't want to donate again.  Jamie isn't so sure, but to me it seems pretty clear that this was a one time deal.  There's nobody else in our lives who I would feel ok with asking to donate and with me being unemployed I can't see a sperm bank being a viable option.  I know there are known donor sites, but we checked that out briefly at one point before asking Sophia's donor and neither of us were completely comfortable with it.  All of this leaves me wondering if we'll even be able to work it out to have more children.  We've already made these big plans and I feel like I'm watching them fall apart.  Jamie and I were talking recently and realized that 30 is just around the corner for us.. where did that come from?!!  That only amplified the feeling that we have to get this going pretty quickly if we want to have more children and I just don't know how we would work that out.

Maybe in a year or so we will have more figured out and be able to work on expanding our family so for now we'll focus on our little girl and try to soak up every minute before we blink and she's graduating high school.

She has her 2 month appointment on Tuesday so we should have an update on what's going on. . Until then!