Drumroll Please....

BFN(big freaking fat farty negative).

I am 14 dpo...my temps are still slowly climbing. .3 up from yesterday, in fact. I had a pretty dark (not positive) OPK last night. I just wanted to see if that whole myth was true that you can get a +OPK before a +HPT(Home Pregnancy Test), well I definitely don't have a +HPT....even using one of those fancy First Response deals with FRESH pee this morning, nada. Unless my eyes at 6:00 a.m. were just not picking up the faintest of faint lines? I think I'll post pictures of the past few months I have charted...maybe you guys will have some insight?

So, May was the month I went camping, and had wonky temps to begin with. June was the month that lasted forever, & here we are now. I know I have only been temping for these three months, but prior to May, I was tracking my periods like a hound & I was like clockwork. A nice 28-30 day cycle, favoring the 28 days more. As far as I can tell, my temps are doing what they are supposed to this month...usually 10 dpo I start to drop...here we are 14 dpo & still climbing (be it little by little). That's good right?

Yesterday I was sure AF was just going to flood me at any moment. Then nothing. Today I feel completely fine if not for a little underarm breast tenderness and the slightest bit of bloating/pressure in my abdomen. I don't feel pregnant or like AF is coming. I have no clue if that is good or bad.

I am still holding onto that tiny thread of hope that I'm one of those late BFPers. If that temp dip on 11 dpo is in fact 'implantation' then I may not see a +HPT for even a few more days...right? I'll keep testing with my internet cheapies, because when we ordered the OPKs we got a bazillion.

I'm trying to stay away from Baby Center. Some of those ladies on the non-GLBT boards are just so callous and rude. If the way those ladies treat some people on a website bodes how they are as parents, then it must be true that lesbian and gay people truly are better parents than most. You can see the blatant difference in the way we meticulously plan and wait and plan some more, you can see the love that is there between partners, you can tell that every single child is wanted. The other boards...I don't see that. I don't see the love, I really don't see many people planning anything (what with their 3rd and 4th accidents & they call them accidents?!). Yeah, I know we are just beginning this journey, but really...really.

ANYWAY------It is my momma & Carol's birthday!!!!!!! YAY :) We will enjoy and celebrate them today and worry about testing another time...this will happen for us. We just need a little patience worry rock to hold on to or something.

Until next time.... :) p.s. keep your fingers and toes crossed!

Grocery List of a Pregnant Lady?



The left side of the picture is a list of symptoms of pregnancy from a book, the right side is a list of things I wanted from the grocery store. Not at all weird, right? Courtney said I match the list on the left, and the things I wanted from the store just topped it off. I guess we will know for sure in two short days...maybe? :)

My temp dipped yesterday and then went back up today, implantation anyone? I think I've already suspected that once this cycle, but now I don't think that first suspision was real, there were no crampies accompanying the temp dip. Today I have some twinges, it feels a little different. Not like AF just yet...but different. My CM is a little increased and watery...I know everyone loves to read about that. I am 12 dpo, my breasts aren't as tender, my back and upper legs are still achy, and I am still mooooooody. My belly feels warm inside again. & ummm I think that's it. Oh yeah, I'm hungry. a lot.

Ok, that's my check in for today. Sticky Baby Dust all around :)

Downhill Slope :)

Holy Cow!!!! 6 more days. Just 6 teeeensy more sleeps.

All I really have to say is, if this isn't a babything growing......this is the meanest PMS I've ever known. Let's make a list:

• Bloated and gassy pretty much since ovulation.
• Congested...well sinusy? I don't know, there are boogers and they are gross.
• Increasingly more tired each day.
• Actually eating like five meals a day.
• Boobs are sore...I used to always have horribly sore boobs before AF when I was younger, it was actually another reason I started birth control a while back. But since I have been off BCP, my boobs haven't been noticeably sore at all even with AF. So that is a little off, however I can't completely discount it.
• This morning I feel like I was doing ab workouts all night, my core is just achy. 
• The freaking emotions, I have to laugh at myself when I bite Court's head off, because I can't stop it...then I want to cry in case I hurt her feelings. I mean I don't really feel stressed about any of this right now. It is what it is, so I can't blame my emotions on anything but hormones. Whether they are PMS or Pregnancy we will find out soon :)  

I do love comparing all of my symptoms with the people over on BabyCenter. I like to know I'm not the most insane...I can rationalize most of what I'm feeling. Of course, it is tough to doubt being pregnant when literally EVERYTHING is a symptom. According to FF I am 8dpo, I think I may really be closer to 9dpo. Still, that is too early to test. I am determined to test when we should be able to see 2 distinct lines. No question. I realize sometimes you may only see the faintest of lines on the day you miss your period, so that is a grey area.

Honestly, I'm not doing anything differently. I'm still having my cup of coffee in the morning, I'm still eating fast food (on occassion), I am still drinking lots of water like normal, I am sleeping as much as I can, I mowed the yard. I'm pretending I have NO clue at all there is a possibility of being pregnant -like so so so many of our straighty counterparts- and I am living life as usual {with a slight symptom checking obsession} I'm not trying to stress my body out by only eating certain things, I just eat when I'm hungry & I sleep when I'm tired.

We have some friends coming from out of town this weekend, so that will keep us occupied & away from the pee sticks! Until next time...who knows, maybe next time will be a cutesie little picture of one of those pee sticks with the two most meaningful lines I've ever seen?

Baby Dust & Sticky Thoughts!

It's Aliiiiiiivveeeee!!!

Something has happened.. something very strange.

Ever since insemination Jamie has had.. feelings. That's right. Actual feelings. We used to like to kid that she was a robot. It was mainly her who would kid about it because, while she had her sweet side, she was virtually carefree and didn't let much of anything bother her. She was emotionless in comparison to me. I, on the other hand, am Sensitive Sally. If you so much as say something the wrong way I'm going to take it to heart and probably get my itty bitty feelings hurt along the way. We've both learned to cope with it. Jamie will just overlook and I'll not acknowledge my wanting to be a baby because I know it's silly so I'll just put my big girl panties on and get over things.

Lately Jamie has become me.. and by lately I mean the past 2 days haha. But you know.. Anyway the one who could not be bothered is suddenly chock full of emotion at times and I don't know what to do with her. One moment we'll be having an innocent conversation and something will be taken the wrong way then she's pouty and expressing a vulnerability that I've never seen before. Shortly after this wave of emotion she comes to the realization that she's done this and says she doesn't know what's going on. Needless to say we're both convinced that one of these spermies has made it's way to the egg and she's already experiencing hormonal changes. So what if it hasn't been that long?? We can hope :)

If this is the case we will surely have a ton of interesting posts coming soon. Should be exciting!!

Winning Big at the School Carnival

So, I have turned into an obsessive TTC lady. I bet nobody saw that coming ;)

Alright, let me break it down for you. We inseminated 8/5 & 8/6. I am now thinking I o'd 8/8 - 8/9 (CD15-16). Obviously, I'm obsessing over ever tiny thing....duh, what else are you supposed to do during this TWW(two week wait)? I am bloated, super gassy, unsettled belly and even have stinking acid burps (I didn't think I was capable of so much nasty)....of course these are all primarily ovulation related. I believe it is safe to say I am 2-3DPO(days past ovulation). If this is the case, EVERY single 'symptom' I am feeling is silly. Beyond silly really. But I have started to find -leave it to me to find that a toe-pain is a pregnancy symptom- really though I have found some stories of other ladies who knew pretty much immediately that something was happening...some of those stories ended happily and others just had a bad tuna melt. I am not discounting the possibility that I could be one of those ladies lucky enough to know 'something' was happening...but it is a real possibility that my tuna melt wasn't the freshest, too.

On a real not so silly note...I was concerned that my BBT wasn't as high as it typically gets. It is rising daily, I just didn't see that 'day after ovulation spike' like I am accustomed to. After searching the interwebs, I have concluded that all is fine. I had a wonky cycle last month, honestly I should expect no less than a little irregularities this month. I found that, as long as temps keep rising, things are moving in the right direction. I am happy with that discovery...Courtney, however, thinks I'm a nutcase for being awake with this bright space contraption on my lap blogging. SOOORRRY....I'm just getting you back for the teeth grinding/snoring :)

I am so in tune with what is happening with and in my body all the time that this little wait we have here is going to be so so fun. I can literally feel when my body is ovulating...I swear I can feel the exact moment the tiny pinpoint of an egg releases. I just second guess myself when my temperatures don't do what I want them to do. Other than the typical O-pains I have been a smidgen sleepy (hello we just got back from San Diego, jet lag), cranky (I'm always moody, let's be real), my sinuses are acting up (it is also Summer in East TN), I feel full & hungry at the same time (ovulation can do that) and I have crazy random hiccups, but the biggest 'issue' I've noticed is my belly feeling warm. It doesn't feel warm to the touch, but from the inside out, it doesn't hurt...I can feel my belly turning -from the nice gas bubbles- but the warm sensation is totally different. Kinda hard to explain, I am being more pessimistic over here, as to not get overwhelmed with the maybes super early. I am definitely keeping all crossable limbs crossed, as if I'm about to win big at the School Carnival, that this very well could be something. I'm keeping a daily notepad of 'symptoms' just to be able to look back on...if/when...that time comes :)

Now it is 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning, I am trying to keep my gassiness to a hush, but my belly is so rumbly, I'm sure I have woken up the neighbors. I have a kitten snuggled beside me and a comatose Charlie girl at my legs. Courtney has rolled over away from the screen. These things need a 'night mode.'

Until next time...keep blowing that Baby Dust this way. I'm going to enjoy this weekend!!

Back to Reality

We are actually on the plane back to Nashville as I type this. --it is a Word Doc…but still, we are on the plane-- Fun stuff! I really am not looking forward to getting back into the normal routine of real life :( Our trip was awesome, relaxing, carefree, and so much fun…Even when Stace & Court were ganging up against me!!

Our flight out was delayed nearly 2.5 hours…so we spent close to 6 hours hanging out in the Nashville airport, with no free wifi…or I’d have probably updated that we were super bored. But if we had free wifi we could’ve watched Netflix or something!! We didn’t get into SD until around 11:00 (2:00am our time). Needless to say we were exhausted!

We went to Sea World on Thursday, and all three of us got fried. It didn’t even get that hot, like 79 tops, but it was definitely sunny!! Whoops…I guess I’d rather get sunburned the first day than the last day. Now at least most of it has turned into a tan :)

We did most of the touristy things, walked on the beach, ate too much, drank some delicious coffee, bought some souvenir trinkets, and saw the sights. I will post some pictures once I get them to the computer. We really didn’t take too many pictures though. :/

Stacey has only lived in his condo for 3 weeks, and he didn’t have his wifi set up yet…or maybe I would have posted from there, too :) My phone also had less than average service where he lives, it was kind of nice to really not be super concerned with the happenings of FB or worrying about my phone all the time for a while.

Ok…so the moment we’ve all been reading for. The deed. The big show. The baby dance? Ha ha. Well, original plans were to insem Friday, Sunday and Monday. Friday we all pretty much just crashed & didn’t even worry about it (ok I was worried, but it really wasn’t a huge issue because it most likely would’ve been too early anyway). So, Sunday was the first one. It was weird. I knew it was going to be a little weird, but we were hilarious and bought a sippy cup to use for our collection cup. We named it the Death Star…not sure if that was a bad idea…but we did. We tried our best to make light of the situation. After all was done we convened in the living room to continue watching the Olympics, like it was no big deal. Because it was no big deal really! I used preseed & an instead cup (as best as I could, it wasn’t the easy thing to use, but after I didn’t use it Monday I could definitely tell how it holds things in place.) I probably should have used it after Monday’s insem too, but I thought I laid around long enough (a little over an hour watching more Olympics of course) for the spermies to get where they were going…we will see right??

I didn’t get a +OPK while we were there, I really didn’t expect to, but it would’ve been nice. Now we are hoping to see that tonight or tomorrow night. I had the normal CM that leads up to O, so I know we aren’t too terribly far off! My temps are still low, which means we didn’t miss it. For now we wait to see that temperature rise & then we get to wait some more!! I guess this is the start of our TWW? Or should we start counting from O? If it is now, I am feeling pretty stress free. We have done what we can for this try… All we can do is leave it up to the luck of the draw.  (P.s. we all found shiny lucky pennies at Sea World.) I’m supposed to start my next cycle the 22-24 of August…at least that’s what FF says, let’s hope that’s like 9 months off :)  

Court is napping, so I may try to do the same for a little while. We should touch down in a couple of hours.  

Until next time!! Baby Dust! 

Officially TTC!!

Ok in little more than an hour we will be on the road (literally) to TTC!!!! I can't believe we are finally to this point in our adventure! Amazing how time flies. We are driving to Nashville then flying out around 5:50 this afternoon :) Our equipment is packed. Both of my moms (Carol & Mom) have called this morning to be sure we haven't left anything out :)

I am anxious, excited and nervous. I haven't been able to eat today, because of my nervous belly. I had too much coffee so I am all over the place. I'm sure we will forget something...so long as we have the necessities we will be fine. I wrote a list like a mother to a babysitter for our furbabies. I watered my plants at work, payroll is set up for my back-up to complete next week. All that's left is to get to San Diego & be stress free :) ha. ha. ha.

Our Plan: Start POAS today (even tho I am only CD8 & I know it will be -) I want to be sure to catch the LH surge. We will do insems Friday, Sunday & Monday...maybe, maybe Tuesday early morning...in hopes to have plenty of swimmers 'on deck' waiting for that little egg to come out to play! Still expecting O Monday or Tuesday. We know it is going to be early for some of the insems, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Sure enough as soon as we don't insem Friday night, I will O early on Saturday and possibly miss out. I typically O CD13-16, last month it was later...so luck will have it that travelling will make this one sooner. Also, after doing some reading, healthy spermies can live for a couple of days in my system. We have no reason to suspect anything unhealthy from either me or Stacey, so that's what we are banking on!!

After all is said and done, either this works & our timing is perfect - that's what it all depends on anyway - or it doesn't work this time. We will keep our heads high and move on to the next try. No biggie :) I am just excited to be here. I don't think Stacey will ever know how grateful we really are to have him. What more could a couple of girls ask for?!

Wish us luck...because here we go!!